Resistance causes suffering. It also does not change outward situations. Instead, it can cause you to exert unnecessary energy as you brace against the shift that is happening. Change is inevitable; all things change. Change is often uncomfortable, but it is usually our resistance to change that makes it this way.
What is a solution? Acceptance. Accepting does not mean “giving in” or “giving up”. Not at all. To accept means to allow things to be as they are. Not to fight. Not to waste energy pushing away or becoming rigid.
We recently brought a new horse to our ranch. He was no longer wanted in his home and so we decided to bring him to ours. Abandoned by his herd, led into a trailer and jostled down the road to a strange new place with strange new horses. He was understandably nervous, but settled remarkably quickly. He seemed calm, watchful.
He stayed in the moment. Now a wind is blowing my mane, now two birds are calling from the brush. The sun has moved from behind a cloud; it is warming my back. I can smell the manure from these new horses, the water in the trough, the hay that they are eating and it is different from my hay. Here comes one of the horses, he is telling me to move and so now I must run quickly away.
I realized that he accepted his situation. He may not have liked it. He was chased by the other horses as they worked out the ranks. This place had new sounds and smells. The noises that my children make at times startled him. But he did not resist. He did not work himself into a lather pacing the fence line and crying for his old life that was suddenly gone.
Because of this, he has merged with the herd. He lives in the moment, and reacts in the moment. He allows things to be.
Listen to the wisdom of the horses; try acceptance. I believe you will find peace.